Reentering The Work Force.


In December I went back to work full time.  This has been a challenge for me in so many areas.  I have had to learn to be more disciplined and to be a better steward of my time.  It has also helped me learn to be more confident in my abilities, see some strengthens I didn't realize I had, and find some new ones to develop.  I am learning a lot about myself and others during this time.

Our relationship with God is much like this.  In some seasons we must renter something we had previously done before and learn more about our selves and our trust in or lack of trust in the Father.  While I like working outside of the house I have found so many things I don't like and I;m learning how to interact and get along with people who I don't always agree with or see things the same way.
I've learned so much and i am anticipating learning more in the days ahead.

Entering A New Season

     I have not written  a update since we relocated from Florida back to Oklahoma.  Things in this new season have not been what I had expected.  Plans have fallen apart and things have not gone as expected.  My dream God has given to me of being a missionary seems to be getting further away instead of closer and I had hoped for during this season that I would reap from the labors of the previous seasons.  I am finding more work and labor than I ever expected in this new season.  I'm fighting just to maintain it seems like instead of pushing back and taking new ground.  It seems this season is not going to be as short as I had had anticipated it to be.  I am  grateful for God for the people who is placing around me during this season may I know I am connected to the body.  May I learn like never before what it means to fully trust God to take care of me in all areas of my life.  May I learn to lean on Him and learn from Him and reap so much more than I have dreamed possible.

Decluttering our lives

Today I am working on downsizing some of my accumulated items in my house.  We have a tendency to put things away and then forget about them thinking we will need them later.  Something hold sentimental attachment and remind us of people and places and we hold on to them for this reason.  I have found that by neglecting regularly going through these items can cause unneeded stress.  Things have a way of piling up and it seems when looking in the natural we don't know where to start or it seems overwhelming or we feel guilty because we know we should have do something with these items before now.

Our spiritual lives are much like our houses in the natural.  We learn information and hold on to experiences and sometimes we need to go through and clean out our thoughts and remind ourselves of what we are thinking about and allow some thoughts and behaviors to go and to change. In this way we can make room in the natural and in the spirit for the new things that are coming in to our lives.  Getting our inside thought life cleaned up frees us and can bring us great joy.

Have a blessed day.

More of my childhood

I would like to share today about my childhood.

When I was growing up I had a awareness of God from a young age.  I have always believed in God but I didn't hear or understand until years later that I could know God personally and interact with Him like  real person.  See I thought that if God was controlling things and giving out consequences for not following him and doing what he asked I was in fear of finding out what those punishments would be.  I didn't like getting into trouble and desired to do what was right.  I would later learn how loving God is and how is plans for me are for my good.  Oh how my thinking changed in this area.  I am so thankful that God lead me to the churches and people that spoke these truths into my life and through examples and teachings how God has deepened my realationship with him.  My desire is to follow him to the best of my abilities and get to know him better.

My Story Continued.

     I posted a while back about the beginning of my story.  

     I want to write today about how the fear in my life started.  I didn't understand when I was younger about rejection and the impact of our words and the words of others on us.  I didn't understand the Love of God to over come all the rejection.  I grew up hearing how my mother had a lot of difficulties growing up and was teased, picked on and bullied among other things and how because of these things she never wanted to have children.  God blessed her with me and it has been a long road to over come the words of rejection.  God has freed me from this rejection and through my own experiences has really revealed to me how He is not rejecting me and how his unconditional love is extended to me.  He has reshaped and changed the image that I had through these experiences built for myself and given me  a new image of how He sees me.  He has shown me how He sees me and the words he speaks about me and reshaped my life.  See having  a image of unworthiness and never feeling excepted I was always searching for acceptance from the world.  I married the first boyfriend who told me he had the same desire to serve God that I did.  I did not have a strong church life or foundation of God's Word during this time just a desire to serve God.  The enemy used this began to order my circustances to build even more fear in hopes that I would never do anything for God.  God had a plan and God used lots of different people and circumstances to show me and lead me to freedom.  

More on Moving out of my comfort zone

  I've shared in a few posts about getting out of my comfort zone.
 
The last few weeks I have had some opportunities to do just that.  I attended a ladies breakfast.  There would have been a day when I would have been so fearful of going by myself and not knowing anyone that I would have let fear keep me home.  I faced that fear and I went by myself.  Yes I felt out of place walking in by myself and yes I felt self conscious.  I didn't let that stop me I found a place and I asked if the seat was taken and I let myself be friendly and say hello and I had a good time.  I am looking forward to this getting easier and to having some wonderful experiences and meeting some new people.  I do feel uncomfortable and I am learning that is ok.  I am growing and I am expanding my view of my world and my surroundings by getting out and learning and having new experiences.  We can't  allow fear of failing, or fear of not fitting in to keep us from experiencing life and getting to know people.  The more I get out and talk to people the more I learn that we all face the same kind of fears, we all fear rejection and not fitting in.  I am seeing that I have more in common with others than I realized.  I am looking forward to getting through some of the fears and growing in my personal life.

Moving Out of My Comfort Zone.

This last week my husband left for a unexpected trip to Kenya.  It was exciting and scary all at the same time.  Exciting in that God moved in a mighty way to provide all that was necessary for this trip.  Scary in that I am in a new environment where I have no family and not many close friends.  I found that it was scary at first not knowing.  The kids and I decided to do a few fun things and we ventured out our familiar area and went to a few places we had never gone to before.  In our walk with God sometimes it is the same way.  He beckons us to leave the boundaries of what is known and venture out to the unknown.  Where we must trust Him to keep us safe and to show us the path to take.  By expanding my boundaries in the natural it is becoming easier for me to let go of the control and knowing about my life and care and surrender those more fully over to God.