Entering A New Season

     I have not written  a update since we relocated from Florida back to Oklahoma.  Things in this new season have not been what I had expected.  Plans have fallen apart and things have not gone as expected.  My dream God has given to me of being a missionary seems to be getting further away instead of closer and I had hoped for during this season that I would reap from the labors of the previous seasons.  I am finding more work and labor than I ever expected in this new season.  I'm fighting just to maintain it seems like instead of pushing back and taking new ground.  It seems this season is not going to be as short as I had had anticipated it to be.  I am  grateful for God for the people who is placing around me during this season may I know I am connected to the body.  May I learn like never before what it means to fully trust God to take care of me in all areas of my life.  May I learn to lean on Him and learn from Him and reap so much more than I have dreamed possible.

Decluttering our lives

Today I am working on downsizing some of my accumulated items in my house.  We have a tendency to put things away and then forget about them thinking we will need them later.  Something hold sentimental attachment and remind us of people and places and we hold on to them for this reason.  I have found that by neglecting regularly going through these items can cause unneeded stress.  Things have a way of piling up and it seems when looking in the natural we don't know where to start or it seems overwhelming or we feel guilty because we know we should have do something with these items before now.

Our spiritual lives are much like our houses in the natural.  We learn information and hold on to experiences and sometimes we need to go through and clean out our thoughts and remind ourselves of what we are thinking about and allow some thoughts and behaviors to go and to change. In this way we can make room in the natural and in the spirit for the new things that are coming in to our lives.  Getting our inside thought life cleaned up frees us and can bring us great joy.

Have a blessed day.

More of my childhood

I would like to share today about my childhood.

When I was growing up I had a awareness of God from a young age.  I have always believed in God but I didn't hear or understand until years later that I could know God personally and interact with Him like  real person.  See I thought that if God was controlling things and giving out consequences for not following him and doing what he asked I was in fear of finding out what those punishments would be.  I didn't like getting into trouble and desired to do what was right.  I would later learn how loving God is and how is plans for me are for my good.  Oh how my thinking changed in this area.  I am so thankful that God lead me to the churches and people that spoke these truths into my life and through examples and teachings how God has deepened my realationship with him.  My desire is to follow him to the best of my abilities and get to know him better.

My Story Continued.

     I posted a while back about the beginning of my story.  

     I want to write today about how the fear in my life started.  I didn't understand when I was younger about rejection and the impact of our words and the words of others on us.  I didn't understand the Love of God to over come all the rejection.  I grew up hearing how my mother had a lot of difficulties growing up and was teased, picked on and bullied among other things and how because of these things she never wanted to have children.  God blessed her with me and it has been a long road to over come the words of rejection.  God has freed me from this rejection and through my own experiences has really revealed to me how He is not rejecting me and how his unconditional love is extended to me.  He has reshaped and changed the image that I had through these experiences built for myself and given me  a new image of how He sees me.  He has shown me how He sees me and the words he speaks about me and reshaped my life.  See having  a image of unworthiness and never feeling excepted I was always searching for acceptance from the world.  I married the first boyfriend who told me he had the same desire to serve God that I did.  I did not have a strong church life or foundation of God's Word during this time just a desire to serve God.  The enemy used this began to order my circustances to build even more fear in hopes that I would never do anything for God.  God had a plan and God used lots of different people and circumstances to show me and lead me to freedom.  

More on Moving out of my comfort zone

  I've shared in a few posts about getting out of my comfort zone.
 
The last few weeks I have had some opportunities to do just that.  I attended a ladies breakfast.  There would have been a day when I would have been so fearful of going by myself and not knowing anyone that I would have let fear keep me home.  I faced that fear and I went by myself.  Yes I felt out of place walking in by myself and yes I felt self conscious.  I didn't let that stop me I found a place and I asked if the seat was taken and I let myself be friendly and say hello and I had a good time.  I am looking forward to this getting easier and to having some wonderful experiences and meeting some new people.  I do feel uncomfortable and I am learning that is ok.  I am growing and I am expanding my view of my world and my surroundings by getting out and learning and having new experiences.  We can't  allow fear of failing, or fear of not fitting in to keep us from experiencing life and getting to know people.  The more I get out and talk to people the more I learn that we all face the same kind of fears, we all fear rejection and not fitting in.  I am seeing that I have more in common with others than I realized.  I am looking forward to getting through some of the fears and growing in my personal life.

Moving Out of My Comfort Zone.

This last week my husband left for a unexpected trip to Kenya.  It was exciting and scary all at the same time.  Exciting in that God moved in a mighty way to provide all that was necessary for this trip.  Scary in that I am in a new environment where I have no family and not many close friends.  I found that it was scary at first not knowing.  The kids and I decided to do a few fun things and we ventured out our familiar area and went to a few places we had never gone to before.  In our walk with God sometimes it is the same way.  He beckons us to leave the boundaries of what is known and venture out to the unknown.  Where we must trust Him to keep us safe and to show us the path to take.  By expanding my boundaries in the natural it is becoming easier for me to let go of the control and knowing about my life and care and surrender those more fully over to God.

The Beginning of My Story.

Today I want to talk about the beginning of my story.  When I was a child I always believed in God.  I don't know how I knew at such a young age.  I have always been a deep person asking hard questions and wanting to know answers to such questions as when I was around 4 or 5 years old, I didn't like going to sleep I wanted to know what happened to me as I was sleeping.  I have had questions like this all of my life.  I have known that I think differently than a lot of others and I had a hard time connecting and fitting in and making friends and getting to know others.  I have always wanted to help others.  To have the answers to there questions and to solve their problems.  I was a positive thinker who always tried to see the best in situations.  I was seeking something out but at the beginning I was not aware until I was a adult that I was seeking out a personal relationship with God. That I was longing to know Him and be loved by Him.

Making Good Use of Our Time.

With the transitions our family has gone through we have fallen behind in our homeschool work.  It is easy to get discouraged and to think we are not going to get done.  As I was praying about it the Lord showed me how to use our time more wisely.  So many situation in our natural life can appear this way as well.  We may face all kinds of challenges that seem to cause us to lose ground but as we allow the Holy Spirit and the Lord to speak to us He will show us how to use our time more wisely and we can recover what appeared to be lost.

Moving Past Fear

As our family has been transitioning and adapting to our new home in Florida I have found some areas of fear in my life.  Change has always been hard for me.  When I was growing up things did not change a lot.  My parents lived in the same house for 40 years.  We visited my grandparents on the weekend regularly.  Just to name a few.  I do not like things that I have to do with out knowing ahead of time the outcome.  During this time I am having to face the fear of the unknown quite a lot.  Not being in control, not knowing how people with receive us,  not knowing which direction to go to get to the store, all of these are very scary for me.  I have been learning to lean on God more and more and I am sensing Him drawing me gently towards more and deeper intimacy with Him.  I have to place the care of my life into His hands and know that He is looking out for me and that He has good things for me here.  I have been spending more time developing my relation ship with Him and learning who He is and how the enemy tells us lies about God's character which causes doubt and fear in us.  As I bring those thoughts captive I challenge them with the truth of who God is and what the word says about Him. I am finding peace and I am learning more about who God is to me during this time.

Stepping out Part 2

I wrote a month ago about our move and relocation.  Expanding my boundaries and facing uncertainty.  Today as I was sitting on my couch I was thinking of my youngest son and how he is always telling me how much he loves me and wanting to be climb into my lap and get a hug.  I began to think about my relationship with God and how loves it when we begin to tell Him how much we love Him and begin to draw close to Him.  My sons actions are inspiring me to spend more time just drawing closer to God during this time.  I find that with home school and household responsibilities it is easy to just rush through my prayer time and bible reading.  I am making a effort this coming weeks to spend more time just stopping throughout the day and telling God how much I love Him and making a effort to draw close to Him because I want Him to know how much He means to me.

Stepping Out

This past week I have expanded my boundaries.  As I prepared to get out from where I felt comfortable I felt a lot of fear and anxiety about what to expect.  I went past where I felt comfortable in the natural into a area I had never been before.  Once I reached the destination I was able to feel more relaxed as I got use to my surroundings.

Our walk with the lord is very much like this He calls us to go beyond where we feel comfortable to go to places we have never gone before.  The enemy seizes upon this opportunity to bring fear, cause doubt and get us to rethink letting go and going beyond where we know what to excpect.  For me this has been not only a natural journey but a spiritual one as well.  I see so many corolations between the natural things and the spiritual journey.  I have been enjoying experiencing new things.  I have been learning to let go of preconceived ideas of what I think I want to happen and to learn to just let go and enjoy with out getting all worked up and stressed.  I am excited to see some of my boundaries expand and some old ideas change.  Looking forward to growing in more freedom and gaining some more confidence.

New Experiences

As our family is settling in to our new environment we are having new experiences.  Just like our spiritual walk our natural walk is filled with fresh and new experiences.  We will experience things we have never encountered before.  We also will have things that we have experienced before but they will be new we will see them and think differently about them.  For me this week I had the opportunity to do a few things with my kids that reminded me of a time in my childhood and how much I enjoyed them and it was good to have these experiences with my own children.  I think of what the bible says about talking with our children about what God has done for us to share these experiences with our children.

Moving out of our comfort zone

My family is moved to a new place.  During the process we have had to leave a area that is familiar to us and venture out to where we have to relearn how to get around town and to find new places.  Much like this process in the natural is our spiritual walk.  At times in our life God will ask us to get out of our comfort zone and leave behind teachings and ways of doing things that are familiar and comfortable to us.  He will ask us to relearn and think differently and relearn how to navigate the spirit realm, think differently about how we are to get to the next place he is asking us to go.  He may ask us to narrow our selves and our thinking down a bit and to focus on one specific area instead of the end result and over all picture.  We are excited about learning how to do things differently in this season.