More of my childhood

I would like to share today about my childhood.

When I was growing up I had a awareness of God from a young age.  I have always believed in God but I didn't hear or understand until years later that I could know God personally and interact with Him like  real person.  See I thought that if God was controlling things and giving out consequences for not following him and doing what he asked I was in fear of finding out what those punishments would be.  I didn't like getting into trouble and desired to do what was right.  I would later learn how loving God is and how is plans for me are for my good.  Oh how my thinking changed in this area.  I am so thankful that God lead me to the churches and people that spoke these truths into my life and through examples and teachings how God has deepened my realationship with him.  My desire is to follow him to the best of my abilities and get to know him better.

My Story Continued.

     I posted a while back about the beginning of my story.  

     I want to write today about how the fear in my life started.  I didn't understand when I was younger about rejection and the impact of our words and the words of others on us.  I didn't understand the Love of God to over come all the rejection.  I grew up hearing how my mother had a lot of difficulties growing up and was teased, picked on and bullied among other things and how because of these things she never wanted to have children.  God blessed her with me and it has been a long road to over come the words of rejection.  God has freed me from this rejection and through my own experiences has really revealed to me how He is not rejecting me and how his unconditional love is extended to me.  He has reshaped and changed the image that I had through these experiences built for myself and given me  a new image of how He sees me.  He has shown me how He sees me and the words he speaks about me and reshaped my life.  See having  a image of unworthiness and never feeling excepted I was always searching for acceptance from the world.  I married the first boyfriend who told me he had the same desire to serve God that I did.  I did not have a strong church life or foundation of God's Word during this time just a desire to serve God.  The enemy used this began to order my circustances to build even more fear in hopes that I would never do anything for God.  God had a plan and God used lots of different people and circumstances to show me and lead me to freedom.